Thursday, August 6, 2009

Discipline of My Children



After baby number 4 my husband and I were so tired and so overwhelmed by the amount of work that we had to endure everyday. Because we had the last 2 babies back to back it was hard to get anything done. One person had to deal with them while the other worked their butt off. Then the older 2 girls were running crazy and doing everything, but helping. Usually, making more messes.

I knew I had to find a better way. So I came up with a system that not only encouraged good behavior but also incentive for helping with the house work.

My girls earn tokens for good behavior and housework. They cash in tokens for things like - one on one time, trips out to library or ice cream, a day off the dish duty, playing board games. I find a lot of the time they just want time individually with us. I make the amount of tokens reasonable 10-20. If it cost me money they have to have at least 20 tokens. I tell them that's because I have to do a lot of work to earn the money. So, I am also teaching work ethic.

First I thought of things the older girls can do.

My 9 year old is assigned morning dish duty every morning.
My 4 year old empties little trash cans and picks up toys every morning.
They have to do this everyday no complaints.

If they complain they still do it but when they are finished I let them know there will be no token awarded for the job. I only do this if they throw major fits.

We went to the store and we bought dry erase boards and markers, some see through containers, letter stickers and fun stickers, and some plastic tokens. I let them pick it out at the dollar tree so it did not cost a fortune. Only like $10 bucks.

We took these items home and started to decorate. They each have their own dry erase board with name and also a container for tokens with name. This took right off. They were both so excited to help and earn tokens.

This also helps with them to follow rules because they work to earn the tokens I usually only have to take one away for misbehavior.

On the dry erase boards we wrote down rules like listen to parents, no being mean to siblings. We left the real broad and simple. We keep track of chores done by smile faces. At the end of every night after brushing teeth,pajamas,and clean rooms they are awarded their tokens.

We usually leave Saturday open for cashing in the tokens.

It works if you work it consistently. It really is just a way to remind me to give them praise for when I see behavior I want from my children. And to discipline with out a lot of attention given on the matter.

When they misbehave they still get a warning that they will lose a token. Sometimes we have lost all tokens and still misbehave. I do still ground from T.V., outside, and phone. But not as often.

I have also established a way to calm my 9 year old's fits. We argue a lot. Now instead of yelling at each other we write notes back and forth until we have worked out the disagreement.

I also make her write sentences if she can not calm down to listen instead of relentless arguing we write sentences. I also write on her dry erase board. The latest things have been. "I must take responsibility for my actions." "My actions have consequences." "I am responsible for my own happiness."
"I must use problem solving skills 1. Identify the problem 2. come up with possible solutions 3. Act on the best possible solution."
" If I have a problem I can't fix I need to ask for help"

I always reassure her that being 9 is hard. She will be 18 in another 9 years and responsible for herself. She is already half grown. I have to set higher expectations of her. I can no longer physically make her do what I want. I can only let her know of the consequences of her decisions.

It really does work I am not afraid to take the whole bunch by myself to dinner or any where else. We always get compliments how good they are. My standards are high but I know they can do it. Plus I feel like I have to teach them all I can and fast cause they grow up so quickly.

My 2 year old is now earning tokens. Only one left to get on board.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009



My little boy is now 16 months old. He has suddenly turned into a little monster. I don't remember the girls ever being this rambunctious. He is into everything. I have tried just redirection that is a temporary fix. He waits for the opportunity and gets right back into it. He climbs on the dining room table into the entertainment center cabinet and he is constantly caught on the steps to the girls' rooms. I am afraid it won't be long and he is going to seriously get hurt. I have even tried time out and spanking. He just thinks it is funny. I am glad he is the only boy and our last child because I think he will be the death of me.

He is a big sweetie most of the time. I think he just needs to be exploring or climbing and conquering things all the time. It must be a boy thing. He is also very fearless. He doesn't even look back to see if I am following behind him when he gets outside he just keeps going and exploring. Maybe I have just been to good at protecting him and the first real injury will slow him down or not?

Juvenile Arthritis Advocacy

Well I finally did it. I was able to share my story with all of the elected officials. You can do it too. Just double click the title of this blog and it will take you to the website I used. This is what I sent to all the Missouri Senate, House Reps, Governor and even the President of the United States. It was pretty easy I typed it in word and saved it. The Arthritis Foundation had all their contact info and most of them had web forms. So I just copied and pasted the info in. I hope I can encourage others to do the same. It really only took 30 minutes to send this to all my officials.

I have a daughter born with Juvenile Arthritis I am writing you today to try and encourage you to support the Arthritis Foundations proposed bill. We are asking that the FDA keep track of what these powerful medications are doing to children by starting a registry. The medications have been a blessing. My daughter started walking at 9 months and quit at 14 months by the age of 2 you could no longer notice anything wrong with her. These kids and their parents have to make a choice of treating a condition that is very painful and affects quality of life, with strong medications that by side effects and warning could be very detrimental to their health. It would be nice to have all the facts out so we can make a better well informed decision. I don't know if Breanna will get pediatric cancer or if her lungs kidneys and liver can tolerate it if her condition persists. I do know that without the Methotrexate she would be in agony everyday all day. I can remember when it first flared I had given all the Tylenol and Motrin a little one could handle and at 3 am we were in a warm bath and both of us were crying. I could not take her pain from her. That is a parents worse nightmare, your child in pain and you can not make it better.

We would also like to increase research money. Arthritis affects 64 million adults and about 300,000 children right here in the US. It is also the #1 leading causes of people having to quit work and go on disability.

And the last thing we are asking is that Insurance companies quit discriminating against people with pre-existing conditions. I can not believe this has gone on. Discriminating against sick people should have never been allowed. If you with hold knowledge of a health condition and kept that information from the company it is fraud. But if you are honest about a health condition it should not affect your ability to get coverage or change the price or coverage you are offered.

My daughter started having problems 2 months after I started work with the State School. It took months to get a diagnosis. Our doctors here after 2 X-rays sent us to Children's Mercy They knew right away what it was and started treatment immediately. We started methotrexate, Naproxen and the expensive steroid injections. I was staring at $10,000 worth of medical bills. I worked for months as the middle man between the clinic and the Insurance Company. I was so stressed the doctors at children’s mercy noticed and referred me to a caseworker. It seems First Health was investigating a pre-existing condition. The caseworker who deals with these companies for a living was even having trouble sorting things out. They did eventually pay. They refused to cover her physical therapy and they kept fighting her eye appointments. I don't have vision coverage. It shouldn't matter she is high risk for uveitis because of her medical condition they cover it for people with diabetes. Why do we continue to let this form of discrimination happen? Help us by supporting The Arthritis Foundations Bill.

Again I would like to encourage you to share your story and how Health care Reform can affect your family.

http://capwiz.com/arthritis/home/ This is the website I used.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

2009 JRA Conference

I made a little video of the conference. Just click on title of this blog and you can watch our video.